Bend and Not Break
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: He can feel his anger rising and he knows he needs to calm down. Peyton opens her mouth and closes it again; afraid to talk at all. He clenches his jaw and his hands form two fists on the table. LP after 6x08


**I don't own it, nor do I own "Bend and Not Break" by Dashboard Confessional.**

It's been a while since I've listened to some DC and I forgot how much I love them! But I don't know how much this song fits in.

Alrighty, this continues where 6x08 left off. I've never really done angry smut sooo I guess we'll see how that goes.

I'm trying to get an update out for **KHO** and **TBMTY**. Doing both at once is more daunting then I figured.

Like I mentioned **M** for a reason.

* * *

_I catalog these steps now  
Decisive and intentioned  
Precise and patterned specifically to yours.  
I'm talented at breathing  
Especially exhaling  
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours_

She waits a while before following behind them. She cannot believe this is her life right now. Usually when she thinks this it's because something is going so well. Not this time though.

She takes the drink Lucas had ordered for her and kisses him in thanks. She figures that maybe if Julian sees she's happy with Lucas, he'll be less of an ass. She rests her head on his chest and feels a steady blush rise to her cheeks when Lucas whispers something in her ear. Julian stares on with an intense gaze.

"How about a game of pool?" he asks as he hands Lucas a stick. He accepts and uses the small, blue chalk on the tip. She smiles at the smile on his face.

"Care to join?" he asks as he looks at Peyton. Internally she scowls, but externally she smiles politely and is saved from speaking when Lucas snorts.

"Peyton's not exactly the most coordinated person", he says with a laugh still in his throat as he remembers the countless times they've played basketball. Peyton blushes and looks back at Julian.

"Really?" he asks pointedly. Peyton bites her bottom lip and shrugs. The first time she and Julian ever hung out she kicked his ass in a game of pool. "That's too bad."

They set up the game and Lucas breaks, the balls scatter. It continues, each of them taking their turns until it's almost over. Lucas makes a shot that hits two balls at once and Peyton grins.

"Nice shot baby", she says while throwing her fist into the air, it's like she's cheering for him all over again. Lucas winks in response and when his back is turned Julian mouths 'thanks' to her; she glares back. The night wears on and they keep playing games, most of which Julian wins because Lucas keeps drinking.

He's on his fifth or sixth drink when he looks at her with what she can only assume he thinks is a suggestive smile. In all honestly he looks like a little kid, his eyes are more squinted then usual and his smile makes his cheeks puff out.

She runs her hand through her hair and for the first time wishes she had an engagement ring. She knows she doesn't need anything to signify their love, but she thinks that maybe it would help Julian grow a conscience and he would stop looking at her the way he is. Lucas stumbles over to her and wraps his arms around her waist.

"You wanna get outta here?" she asks softly and his eyes light up.

"Let me just run to the bathroom", he says and kisses her quickly. She hopes he doesn't really run because she doesn't feel like driving to the hospital tonight. He turns the corner and she's left with Julian.

"Have I told you how good you look tonight?" he asks as he sildes up next to her. She rolls her eyes and faces him.

"What the hell are you trying to pull, Baker?" she hits his chest hard and he actually grimaces, but tries to play it off.

"You're still so sexy when you're angry", her hand forms a fist once more and he steps back. "I just wanna make a movie."

"You better not jerk him around", she threatens. "The last thing he needs —"

Julian holds his hands up, "There's no ulterior motive here. Luke's book is good, but you already knew that, it deserves to come to life."

She eyes him warily, but before she can speak her fiancé is back and wrapped around her once more.

"Ready baby?" he asks. She nods and Lucas takes a step toward Julian.

"Lucas, I look forward to working with you. Peyton, nice to meet you", he says while shaking both their hands.

As soon as they walk away Peyton wipes hers on her dress.

_I'm careful not to wake you  
Fearing conversation  
It's better just to hold you  
And keep you pacified  
I'm talented with reason  
I cover all the angles  
I can fail before I ever try_

They walk into the house sloppily. Peyton's supporting Lucas as she opens the door and kicks it wit her foot, but it doesn't close. She hasn't seen Lucas like this in a while and it's pretty entertaining. He spent most of the walk home rambling on about the movie production and how glad he was that Peyton would be there through it all and her favorite topic was the countless times Lucas was going to make love to her tonight.

The second they're inside Lucas grins wolfishly. He presses himself up against her and kisses her cheek before moving to her jaw line. Peyton closes her eyes and sighs audibly. Out of habit her hands raise and tangle in his grown out blonde hair.

"Lucas, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."

She needs to tell him this before things escalate. There's no way she can get to sleep tonight with the conscience she has. He grunts against her neck and finds her pulse point.

"Let's celebrate", he completely ignores her statement and sucks on that spot relentlessly. He pushes himself against her once more; more forcefully this time. The door slams shut.

He's so close to her that she can feel his arousal and her eyes widen. He rocks up and down against her and the motions make her part her lips and release a breath.

"Lucas", she tries to sound strong, but it comes out as a breathy moan. His tongue darts out and drags down her skin; across the hollow of her throat and between the cleavage of her breasts. She throws her head back and bites her bottom lip.

The things he does to her.

When she moans again he pulls back to grin smarmily, but does it a bit too fast. He stumbles back and Peyton has to grip his wrists to keep him from hitting the ground. She giggles at the look on his face. _Giggles_. It's probably the most girly action she ever does and it's all because of him.

She steps away from the door and leads him to the bed. He flops down onto the edge and stares up at her.

"Okay Boozy", she says with a laugh and he smiles sloppily. "Stay here, I'm gonna get you some water and a few aspirin", she walks away, but Lucas grabs onto her forearm and pulls her back.

"I love you", he says passionately. Her heart pounds and she can't stop the smile that forms. His hand drops her arm and they travel down to the hem of her dress. His rough hands skim along the silkiness of her thighs. They work their way to her hips – searching for the thin strip of material. He has every intention of ripping her thong from her body and throwing her onto the bed behind them.

His thumbs dance across the area and when he finds nothing his mouth goes dry and his pants tighten even more. This entire night she's been without underwear. He looks at her with a disbelieving stare. She quirks an eyebrow.

"I love you", she says huskily and throws her arms around his neck. His lips find hers for an intense kiss. His tongue meets hers and they stand like that in his childhood bedroom simply making out. He pulls away at the need for air and his lips go to the side of her head.

"Peyton Scott, you dirty girl", he whispers gruffly into her ear and licks the shell of it. Her entire body trembles, but it's from more then just his actions.

He called her Peyton _Scott_.

That's when her eyes snap open. Marriage is about truthfulness and she still needs to talk to him. His hands continue their journey up her dress. It's pooled around his arms and his fingertips brush the underside of her breasts. It's out of her control when she arches into him.

He moves them back with the goal of gracefully landing on the bed, but he trips over his own feet and collapses onto the mattress. He lets out an 'omph' when she falls atop him and a laugh escapes her once more.

_Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make  
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away  
Won't you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)  
Won't you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)_

"Okay, if I don't get you that aspirin, you're going to regret it" she says as she pulls his hands away from her and stands from the bed. He nods this time.

"Yeah, good idea", he swallows hard and shakes his head. She leaves the room and he kicks his shoes off. He has a gorgeous fiancée down the hall and because he's drunk it's giving him a serious case of blue balls.

He stands and walks from the room. It's been a while; even he can tell that and he doesn't know why. He walks to the kitchen, but stops in the archway. The bottle of Tylenol is on the table and a glass of water is beside it. She's sitting in the chair with her head in her hands.

He knows she isn't drunk so she can't be feeling sick and in an instant is hazy posture is gone.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he sits across from her.

She takes a deep breath and moves her hands. She faces him with a frown and he suddenly feels scared.

"I need to tell you something", her voice is hoarse and he wants to rush to her side and wrap her in his arms, but his legs won't move. He can feel himself starting to sober up.

"What is it?" he asks calmly. He watches as her bottom lip quivers, but she bites it to keep it from continuing.

"You're gonna hate me", she whispers with fright. He chuckles.

"I don't think that's possible, baby", he shakes his head.

She takes a deep breath, so deep her lungs hurt. _Like ripping off a band aid_, she thinks to herself. Ready, set . . .

"I slept with Julian."

He stunned into silence and for a minute he thinks she means recently, but he knows that can't be.

"Julian like, my movie producer?" he asks and a laugh escapes his mouth, but it's not a humorous one. He cannot believe this is happening.

She nods her head and her eyes fill with tears. "Yeah", she says even though she knows she doesn't need to.

"Son of a bitch", he mutters to himself. He runs his hand through his hair and she sits on the edge of her seat.

"Lucas, it was a long time ago –"

"That's not very comforting", he cuts her off. He can feel his anger rising and he knows he needs to calm down. Peyton opens her mouth and closes it again; afraid to talk at all. He clenches his jaw and his hands form two fists on the table.

"Luke, I'm sor –"

"Sorry!?" he cuts her of loudly. "Damnit! Sorry doesn't cut it", he slams his fists onto the wooden table. "He's going to be in our lives for the next six fucking months, Peyton!" he yells into their kitchen. She flinches slightly, but her anger rises also.

"I know that!" she screams back. "I never thought this would happen", her voice is faintly softer, but it does nothing to calm the other blonde. All he can see is his Peyton moaning out someone else's name and falling asleep in someone else's arms.

The fact that Julian is the 'someone else' makes him clench his jaw again.

Before he can form a second though he spits out, "Was he good?"

Her tear filled eyes turn cold in an instant. "Go _fuck_ yourself, Lucas", she bites back. She stands from the chair so fast it falls onto its back and when she slams the bedroom door he swears the entire house shakes.

He slumps against the chair and rolls his eyes to face his ceiling. His buzz is gone that's for sure and the last thing he wants to do is fight, but it seems inevitable. He takes a few deep breaths and stands from the chair. His legs feel like jello. He walks into the room expecting to see her curled into the fetal position, her body trembling from her sobs.

_I am fairly agile  
I can bend and not break  
Or I can break and take it with a smile  
And I am so resilient  
I recover quickly  
I'll convince you soon that I am fine_

That's not the case. She lying down, on her side of the bed, but she's not crying – she's not doing anything.

"When?" he asks softly. She rolls onto her back and looks at him. She swallows and stands from the bed.

"I was still living in LA, it . . . it was the day of your book signing. Like I told you, I was there and I saw Lindsey kiss you; I jumped to conclusions and walked out. I was in such a panic that I ran right into someone. Right into Julian and–"

"I've heard enough", he mumbles.

"Lucas, it was one night and it meant nothing", she says exasperatedly.

"It means something to me!" he yells at her and she's brought back to the day of her senior prom. She had a similar fight with Brooke. "The fact that you slept with him – that he's touched you in places that I touch you, God Peyton", he says in frustration. She stares at him with wide eyes.

"You know what meant something to me? You standing on an alter 8 months ago and pledging your love for another woman and she's still your editor!" he knew it was coming, but he still feels the wind get knocked out of him.

"Those are two different things", he argues. She shakes her head. "Lindsey and I were in a committed relationship, we can move past our history. You screwed some random guy and now I'm paying for it!"

In one swift motion she's directly in front of him and her hand is dragging across his cheek.

"Paying for it? Who in the Hell do you think you are, Lucas Scott?"

"I think I'm the man that's about to be your husband and I don't even know what you did for the past three years in LA. You said all you did was miss me, but did you miss me while you were _riding_ Julian?"

"You're an asshole", she spits at him.

"And apparently you're a slut."

Once again she raises her hand, but he grips her wrist before she can complete her task. They stand there, stuck in that pose. Breaths ragged and faces flushed. Lucas's blue eyes travel down her body and watch as her chest rises and falls with every unsteady breath she takes. Peyton follows his movements and feels her passion peak.

In an instant her legs are around his waist and he's stumbling backwards. He hits the side of his half opened bedroom door and he knows there'll be a mark in the morning, but he doesn't care now.

All he cares about now he getting any lingering memory Peyton has of Julian out of her mind.

**Forever.**

He spins them around and presses her back against the door. His hands work their way up her skirt and when his finger dances across her core he smirks.

_Try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make  
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away  
Won't you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)  
Won't you hold me now (For you I rise, for you I fall)_

"Luke", she says in a throaty groan. She arches into him and he slides a finger into her obligingly. She lets out a breath she was holding in the entire night. He works her with the skill of a man that's perfected a craft. By the time he slides a second finger in she's rocking against him; meeting the thrusts of his two digits.

She sticks her tongue out of her mouth and closes her eyes. They have never done anything like this. Lucas is always gentle and tender and this is everything but that. He lurches forward and his lips cover hers; his tongue dominates her own.

Their kisses are so heated and frantic that she bites his tongue on accident. She gasps and pulls back, but he doesn't seem to notice and his lips hit her neck. In a sick way, it's a total turn-on.

Her stomach twists and she knows she close. She pants heavily and Lucas knows this too. He uses his thumb to trace a tried and true pattern against her most sensitive spot and her eyes roll into the back of her head.

One of her hands grips his hair and as her orgasm hits she desperately reaches out for something else; the white molding above the door serves as leverage. She shakes uncontrollably and moans out his name.

There's no time for her to regain her strength because the next thing she knows she's being thrown onto the beck and Lucas's weight is on top of her. She doesn't might though. Having him pressed atop her is one of the most comforting feelings in her life. She lifts her hips up and his head drops to the crook of her neck

She pushes on his chest and he kneels above her. She leans forward and undoes his button and zipper quickly, not even bothering to watch what she's doing.

His blue eyes turn to a smoldering black.

Once his pants are down far enough she pushes his boxer briefs down to rest on them. She wraps her hand around his arousal and he throws his head back; he lets out a grunt. His muscles contract as she strokes him at the perfect pace. It's not too fast, but not agonizingly slow.

His abs seem to pop from the rest of his body and she knows he's nearing the edge. His hands fly to the bottom of her dress and her hands leave his erection as he forces the garment from her body.

He takes a hold of her hands and as he lays her onto her back he intertwines them about their heads. Her legs spread wider and he pushes into her.

"Oh God", she cries and squeezes his hands. He pumps in and out of her roughly – almost animal like. This different side of him is so off base that she can't full wrap her head around it. His mouth covers one of her breasts.

But, that may be because she's a little preoccupied.

The thrusts continue and they both feel the end nearing. His lips find hers and they kiss, but it's nothing like the one just minutes ago. It's softer and filled with the compassion she knows. She clenches around him and the tightness sends him over the edge.

"Jesus Peyton", he groans out and drops his head to rest on her shoulder.

_Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you  
Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you, to you_

She runs her hand through his dampened hair and he kisses the juncture where her neck and shoulder meet before rolling off of her.

They lay awake; waiting for their hearts and breaths to return to a normal rate. She wonders if he'll breach the silence or if she'll have to do it first. They aren't kids anymore. Sex – no matter how mind blowing – doesn't solve anything.

And they both know this.

He pulls her into his arms and she sighs contently.

"Lucas . . ."

"God Peyt, I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you did I?" he asks worriedly. She looks up at him and shakes her head.

"No, baby, I'm fine", she promises as she caresses his chest. She draws invisible circles over his heart. She always finds reassurance in its beating. There's a stretch of silence until she says;

"You know you're it right? No matter what's happened, you're my heart; my whole world", her voice strains and he pulls her a little closer. His eyes snap shut and he feels like the scum of the earth. He had wanted to celebrate tonight and instead they had angry sex.

Hot, angry sex, but it was still **angry**.

"I do know", he says honestly. "I just . . . I don't know what it was – the alcohol, the fact that we were with him the entire night – he was probably looking at you and I didn't even notice", he grumbles in frustration.

"I love you for always wanting to step in and be the protector, but I can handle myself", he tenses immediately. She reaches across and rubs his bicep relaxingly.

"It's not really about you, it's me. Tomorrow I have to talk to him."

"Lucas, don't ruin this chance –"

"I'm not, I'm just gonna set up some ground rules", he says simply. She smiles questioningly.

"And what might they be?"

"Well, for starters he's not allowed in the same room with you unsupervised – I trust you, but I don't trust him. Second he cannot look at you nor can he think about you naked", he's so serious in his statements that Peyton can only chuckle.

"Babe . . ."

"They seem perfectly plausible to me", he says while shrugging. She's still laughing and it's like music to his ears. It's infectious and he starts to laugh too. This is better, this is normal.

"You're not a slut", he says suddenly. Peyton bites her lip.

"You can still kind of be an asshole", she teases. He looks down on her and huffs before rolling her onto her back.

"I'll show you", he murmurs against her skin. She closes her eyes and delights in the feeling. He kisses her collar bone and the hollow of her throat before stopping at her lips.

"We're okay, right?" she asks as she cradles his face with her hands. He nods and smiles a lopsided grin.

"Baby girl, we are _more_ then okay", he says gruffly.

His kisses are gentle and she sighs in pleasure. His hands travel along the curves of her body and stop between her legs.

They spend the rest of the night making love.

Gentle, simple, lovemaking.

_And try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make  
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away  
So won't you hold me now?  
Won't you hold me now?  
Now, now, now, now, now_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


End file.
